Best. New. President. Ever.

A guy I worked with at Siemens commented on the inaugural, "Let see what you're saying over the next 4 years..." As in, "you're overfreakingjoyed now, but just wait."

My first thought was, Who cares?  Sure are a lot of people who agree that George Walker Bush was the single worse president in American history. 

But don't take their (or my) word for it: Google it yourself.

Like Obama, George II went to Harvard (his application to UT Law School was rejected). But unlike Obama, up into his forties George was just another hard-partying trust fund baby. George senior put him in charge of some of his oil businesses, which paid him huge salaries before they failed. Then he bought a baseball team. When his father lost the presidential election, his family forced him to run for Texas governor. Karl Rove ran the campaign, defeating Ann Richards 53%-46%. Over the next 16 years, as the puppet of racketeers, sycophants, and war profiteers, he drove the most powerful nation on Earth over a cliff, down into our worse economic crisis since the depression.

Our current president has a JD from Harvard, was president of the Harvard Law Review, taught constitutional law for 12 years at the U of Chicago Law School, was a civil rights attorney, and served on the board of directors of the Chicago Lawyers' Committee for Civil Rights Under Law and the Center for Neighborhood Technology. Before serving in the senate, he and his wife aimed their careers at addressing poverty, unfunded public education, and job creation.

We just lived through the last days of Nixon's zombies, surrounded by National Lampoon frat boys running amok. Do you really think someone like Obama will make things worse? Really? Not really. Living in Austin, I know people who know the Bushes personally. They love 'em. George is certainly a fool, but I'm probably a fool too for thinking something extraordinary just happened - foolish for not being cynical about my very young daughters' looming future. 

To mangle Blake, "If a fool shouts his foolishness long and loud enough, he becomes wise." 

Obamanos.

One of Uncle Shannon's Christmas Gifts - Laurelwood Vinter Varmer

Got me a bottle from the Laurelwood brewpub. See, in Oregon, microbrewers can just bottle their beer and sell it to people. Texas microbrewers aren't allowed to do that, because Texas beer laws are written by gangsters the Alcohol Wholesalers Association. 

This marvelous winter ale had a heft to it - massive malt profile, with weighted chocolate and caramel mouthfeel. Weighing in at only 6.4% ABV, compared to common seasonals she was easy on the head while doing calesthenics in the mouth. 

I got all brewered up for the session: donned my St. Patricks of Texas Brewer's Supply Hat, and my Austin Homebrew pint glass (with "Make Your Own Damn Beer" etched in the bottom). Then I brewed a batch while drinking it.

Laurelwood Brewing Co. took the gold in the Munich Helles catagory, last GABF.  One of my favorite styles, and hard to get right. The Fredericksburg Brewing Co. is the only American brewery I know that really nails it - then again, their street signs are in German.

I loved it. Can you tell? My brother rocks.

The Esteemed Senator from Minnesota: You, Al Franken.

Nearly 3 decades ago, a young Midwestern writer came on Saturday Night Live and spoke the following. I remember seeing it in 7th grade on a black-and-white TV in Iowa, and thinking, "he looks kinda gay, but he's funny." I've read all his books except the latest (Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot I got on tape for the car).

That's right. I believe we're entering what I like to call the Al Franken Decade. Oh, for me, Al Franken, the 80's will be pretty much the same as the 70's. I'll still be thinking of me, Al Franken. But for you, you'll be thinking more about how things affect me, Al Franken. When you see a news report, you'll be thinking, "I wonder what Al Franken thinks about this thing?", "I wonder how this inflation thing is hurting Al Franken?" And you women will be thinking, "What can I wear that will please Al Franken?", or "What can I not wear?"

You know, I know a lot of you out there are thinking, "Why Al Franken?" Well, because I thought of it, and I'm on TV, so I've already gotten the jump on you. So, I say let's leave behind the fragmented, selfish 70's, and go into the 80's with a unity and purpose. That's what I think. I'm Al Franken. Jane?

But you want funny and biting to the bone, there's no peer to his debate with Ann Coulter at the University of Judaism's Public Lecture Series in  2006. The transcript is here. Mmmm-WAH. Umami, down to the last word.

Oh, and congrats, Al. You earned it. No finer Democratic-Farmer-Labor Senator in Congress, that's what I think. Jane?

Writing in 2009 (Not Only)

I didn't end up graduating with the English degree I never declared, but I came out of high school knowing the nuances around participles and gerunds. I haven't seen Charlie Kaufman's new one yet, but I knew what a synecdoche was when I heard the title. As I climb over the boxes of notebooks in my closet, ex-Austin tech writer Marion Winik always pops into my head, talking about being one of those kids who stored milk crates full of spiral-bounds. I wrote cowboy stories in first grade, stick-figured protagonists with stetsons and circle hands, fingers popping out like Keith Haring sunbeams. Wrote for the school newspaper. Fattened envelopes to friends scattered about the world.

I wrote articles and copy for New Texas Magazine during its 25th-anniversary heyday. I've been writing web site content, and documenting software development lifecycle drama, since 1997. I haven't been short on paid gigs - what I lack is the constitution and cred enjoyed by writers who publish. Original works, born from the cracklings between their eyes.

I've yet to write just to have published something my own. It haunts me. I need 2009 to be different.

Have Yourself a Loony Family Pizza Christmas.

As of 10 min. ago. Lovin' it.

Merry Happy Holidays Everyone

'Tis the season, yet again. Touchdown.

A Public Service WTF From Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones.

NATALIE PORTMAN & RASHIDA JONES Speak Out Once More by Natalie Portman

Last Year's Christmas Card Shoot

We were supposed to do our Christmas photo last weekend, but too much going on. Hopefully I'll be more prepared in the next few days. I pulled out last year's pics to remind myself of what was narrowly missed. Just getting everyone in the same room was like training hungry puppies to perform A Chorus Line.

Piper decided to dress for the occasion.

By the end of the day, Butters and I were exhausted.

Scout doing her best "Calvin and Hobbes."

Francesca looking her usual professional modelesque self. 

But I don't think we quite fit in the frame.

"I don't want to lie on the floor." "Please, Pipie, just one picture."

"No, really. I don't like this."

"OK, you asked for it."

Of course, as you know, this is the one we went with:

Mlaaaary Christmas, everyone. Next one's out soon. I can't wait.

Happy Birthday To Me

Present to self: Honeybomb, one of my fave Bob Schneider masterpieces. Bonus thing that means something to me but not really to anyone else: Will Taylor and his classical mates played at our wedding.


Extra Bonus Gift: the Mermen drop their Honeybomb!

When I Think About the Scala Girls Choir

Cribbed from eefers. The only way I can hear the Divinyls without switching the station or walking out of the club.

Love it? Then check it (you started it, Tori):

Sept. Visit to Natural History Museum

When I was 5 or so, Mom went to work for Senator Byrd. One of my earliest childhood memories is of this elephant.

"Daddy, what's you favorite animal?"  This one.

OH HAI NOM NOM

Terrible lizards and their successors mingle.

My fave dinosaur at NatHis (just now made that abrev up) is this very big fish. He ate another slightly smaller but still very big fish.

Yum. Wow. Urrp.

Enormous ancient blue sapphires. Like 90% of all gemstones on display in Western museums, these were obtained (robbed) from India. They cut, drilled and set these gems by hand . Feeling down? Compare your lot to an Agra diamond driller's, sitting 10 hours a day cross-legged on the ground, under the balmy Bharat sun.

The Hope diamond. South Parks' raison d'être for the Obama/McCain election.

Not all the world's diamonds come from India, of course - only the world's most magnificent.

Les Popotames et le Mammoth Énormee Tres Mauvais

Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.
This inspired me to film the girls and translate their stories into French captions. Every time I hear her say "very tremendously bad mammoth!" I fall to the floor. (It sounds like a hybrid of 'mauvais' and 'méfait')

Congrats America! Love, Your Friends in India

Via Spiegel:

"In India, a sand sculpture of US President-elect Barack Obama has become quite an attraction. India hailed Obama's 'extraordinary journey' to the White House."

I thought we couldn't. Apparently, we can.

Yeah, I'm feeling it. Feeling the love. The relief. Palpable.

The way "mandate" was used before was incorrect usage of the word. Today, we can use "mandate" in its correct, intended usage (e.g. "the mandate that G.W. Bush claimed to have received from the previous electorate was exposed as mere rhetoric in light of more than double the electoral votes Obama won  yesterday. No president has more clearly been handed a genuine mandate since LBJ's landslide win, 44 years ago.")

Now I don my gay apparel, dancing in the streets, gonna cause talk and suspicion, trumpeting my mixed metaphorathon.


This is where I heard the announcement. AN historic night, truly, indeed.

Literal Translation of Chili Peppers "Under the Bridge"

(Overdub written/sung by Dustin McLean, lifted from Funny or Die)