Bono & Oprah's Red Product

iPod Made By Chinese Children
To Benefit African Children

The Onion
America's Finest News Source | October 27, 2006

To Infinity...

My Daughters

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I have exceptionally beautiful daughters.

Pas de Duh

Mom sent Jodie and me this. I needed it.

When I despair,
I remember that all through history,
the way of truth and love has always won.

There have been tyrants and murderers
and for a time they seem invincible
but in the end, they always fall.

Think of it, always.

- Mohandas Gandhi

We Won't Remember Their Names. Will Someone Remember Ours?

I wonder who they are
The men who really run this land
And I wonder why they run it
With such a thoughtless hand

What are their names
And on what streets do they live
I'd like to ride right over
This afternoon and give
Them a piece of my mind
About peace for mankind
Peace is not an awful lot to ask.

-David Crosby, Neil Young, Jerry Garcia, Phil Lesh and Michael Shrieve

Ani Difranco at Stubb's

James and I waded neck-deep in the L-word (Liberal? Lovely? Looney?) last night. It poured the entire concert; the audience drank it up. At one point Jams turned to me, water dripping off his nose, said, "Knuckle down. Just be OK with this." She played this tune, too, sending shivers though me:

Oh, and she's pregnant. Someone passed her up a pair of red suspenders after she said her pants kept falling down off her belly. Who knew?

Set list:
(that is, songs I think I remember were played, in no real order)
- Napoleon
- Knuckle Down
- Paradigm
- Shameless
- Studying Stones
- Independence Day
- 78% Water
- Hypnotized
- Lag Time
- Names and Dates and Times
- Done Wrong
- Fuel
- Half-Assed
- Decree
- Recoil
- Evolve


Here's a nice taste of what it looked like at Stubb's. Such a great time. A world of difference from the night she played for 40 mins and fled, out at the Back Yard. When Jodie was pregnant. Scout's first concert.

My day job (that I'm told to not quit)

I work for a multinational corporation that manufactures everything manufacturable. In our small Austin division, I write technical documents for engineers and their customers. The following is an example of what my cellmates tell me the customer needs to understand, as clearly and jargon-free as possible.
Note the kind of arm that can be employed to reduce sinusoidal depleneration.

Wow. Bill Hicks found his where he parked it: behind a dumpster.

A co-worker found this and sent me the link. Ever the optimist, I like to think it was hard for them to claim their car while handcuffed to a gurney in St. David's.
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austin craigslist > lost & found >
last modified: Sat, 7 Oct 16:43 CDT

Drunk? Lose your car after wrecking it? It's here...

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Reply to: comm-217431XXXX@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-10-07, 4:43PM CDT

Walked outside this morning and there is a white car in front of my house. The side is covered with blood & the hood is covered with something akin to PUKE. Both air bags are popped out & the windshield is smashed. Please come get your car from in front of my house. Tell me what kind of car you're missing and I'll tell you where I live. You were probably too drunk to remember where you left it.....

PS, yes, I did call WilCo, there have been no reported hit and run incidents. (you probably only hit a deer, but I can't guarantee that)

· no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
217431471
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Willie Nelson, Allegiant Voice of Reason

October 11, 2006

"I was at a concert this weekend in California to raise money for the National Veterans Foundation. I'm an Air Force veteran, and I have great respect for the military. I like to support the soldiers whenever I can. But I don't support this war in Iraq.

I was against the war before it started. I always thought it was a terrible decision, badly thought out, badly planned, and then horribly executed.

I want to see our troops come home right away, and so do most Americans. Unfortunately, too many politicians in both parties refuse to listen.

So when will the troops come home? When we won't put up with it anymore-when we change our government. And how will we do that? By voting the bastards out! On November 7, you should vote for anyone who's against the war and vote against anyone who's for the war. It's that simple.

When I wrote the song "Whatever Happened to Peace on Earth" at Christmastime in 2003, a lot of people were for the war, a lot of people didn't know the facts or the truth. But people are waking up now. They're learning that they were lied to about the war. They're feeling lied to about this Mark Foley scandal in terms of who knew what and when. They're questioning the leadership in this country.

And that gives us new possibilities for November 7th. If we all go out and vote for peace candidates and get our friends to vote, and if our votes are really counted, it's no contest. There'll be a change in the Congress, and then we'll just have to keep building so we can get a president who won't send our soldiers to fight a war based on lies.

We should have thrown the bastards out years ago. Let's do it now! Give Peace A Vote!"

Willie Nelson
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Biodiesel Elevator Pitch

Biodiesel - Traveling Presentation; Elevator Pitch

Diesel car?

Here's what Biodiesel is to you:

- Same price as diesel at the pump
- Same engine performance and mpg as with petro-diesel
- Increased engine longevity (400,000 miles, typically)
- Cut tailpipe emissions up to 75%
- Run on a renewable fuel, produced by farmers at lower coast than drilling and refining
- Keep energy jobs in America, eliminating demand for foreign oil

Biodiesel is made from vegetable oil. It can be extracted from trash and agri-byproduct. Farmers and crop-oil expellers will always be at the forefront of quality bio-fuel production, but using free landfill to supplement the supply is awfully sexy to investors.

When a technology breakthrough turns something of no value into an abundance of great value, Wall Street wakes up every morning like a kid at Christmas.

Solar voltaic electricity today is really just an extravagance. Technically, biodiesel’s the only solar-powered technology we’ve come up with that can literally move mountains. Ask any random West Virginian. “Using diesel engines to mine coal to heat up electric-generating steam engines? T’aint natural.” Steam - how quaint, given the shock and awe diesel turbines bring.

The transition to biodiesel is invisible; piping it through involves no mechanical interruptions, no retrofits or
upgrades, and relies on the existing infrastructure to go from farm to gas tank. In some areas, at lower overall cost.

As the smart money gains momentum, crawling, then ambling in the direction of biodiesel, that influx will lean into the diesel technology industry, which will design and produce cleaner, super-efficient, high-tech engines. Eliminating the design flaws of the past. That is, fulfilling the requirements of our present.

And mark my words: the Europeans and Japanese will crank out the best and the brightest of the bunch. Cummings can smooch my hieney; Mercedes, VW and Toyota are the Dieselmotormeisters under the hood of today’s vehicles.

I wish I knew the equivalent Japanese.

(It’s ディーゼル機関のマスター , according to Babel Fish)

The diesel engine is fixing to run the planet. Powered by fuel grown from plants, or squeezed out of our garbage. We’ve invented myriad kinds of engines; it’s the most powerful and efficient we’ve managed yet. And its fast approach will make a lot of people rich.

While, in Bucky Fuller’s words, we stop spending our energy savings account and start investing our daily income. The sun is free; plants just grow; the oceans of petroleum under our feet are our trust fund. Biodiesel keeps us solvent. And maybe honest.

Local Fridge, Local Pantry

Just read a powerful article in the new National Geographic :

http://www7.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0608/voices.html

I wonder if I could feed my family solely on what's grown/provided/available in Texas? I'm thinking of doing a month-long experiment.

It would be pretty easy if it was just me, or me and the missus, but feeding a family of five (without depriving them of cool stuff like ice cream, chik'n nuggets, or mac & cheese) could be a challenge.

I'm sure I'm missing something. But since I do most of the grocery shopping, I might be able to have at it without the kids noticing. If it can, indeed, be done at all.

Hmmmm....

Tom Waits in Tennessee

Bill C and I met in Nashville, drove to Memphis, saw Tom, drove the next day to Nashville, saw Tom, got up the next day and flew home.

Random notes scribbled in my date book:

Avis: no sedans, free upgrade to a Trail Blazer
Nashville to Memphis: 3 hrs@80mph
Gatorade Gandhi jar; torn up luggage for missing thang
MEMPHIS:
Parked, locked bags in lobby, dashed to the Orpheum

AMAZING SHOW #1
Set List:

1. Singapore (video)
   
2. Make it Rain
3. Hoist That Rag
4. Shore Leave
5. Ain’t Going to the Well
6. Yesterday is Here
7. God’s Away on Business
8. Til’ the Money Runs Out
9. 219 (My Baby’s Leaving on the)
10. Dead and Lovely
11. Tango Till They’re Sore
12. House Where Nobody Lives
13. The Ocean Doesn’t Want Me (Bobby Darin Remix)
14. Invitation to the Blues
15. Whistling Past the Graveyard
16. Heart Attack and Vine (with Spoonful by Willy Dixon)
17. Shake It
18. It Rains on Me (the Chuck E. Weiss song)
19. Circus
20. Trampled Rose
21. Get Behind the Mule
22. Murder in the Red Barn
23. Going out West

Encore:

1. Day after Tomorrow (short clip)
   
2. Sins of the Father

Back to the hotel, caged 2 beers (each) off the closed-up bar

Checking the Tom vlogs.

Natty Dred panhandling dude walked with us for a couple blocks: "Akida! He go "RRRRRRRRR!" "Jap'nese dog! M'tink, RRRRRRR!!!"

Delicious beer at the Flying Saucer:
Bill - Avery IPA
Jordan - Avery Yellow Rascal
Shared - O'Hanlon Port Stout (I agree w/Doppleganger on Ratebeer)

BEALE STREET:
Bourbon St/6th St/Vegas silliness. Very little vestige of WC Handy, et al.

Ducked into a nameless hole in the wall
2 Flying Dog Doggy Styles (pale ale)
LOUD Zappa Cover band

Vendors down a side alley: shades, Shea cream, condoms and Viagra


Bikes and choppers galore
"Bill, check it out: that's the lead guitarist from the Zappa band we just saw."
"Dude, Zappa rocks!" "Uh, am I being insulted?"

Hey now, Rasta! Again! Where can we buy some beer? "Akida! RRRRRRR!"
Wandering down the dark, boarded-up streets of Memphis, no beer in sight
3am at Denny's (where white people get seated first, apparently); breakfast & int'l politics

Crash at 4
Up at 10 (to Bill's 2-packet coffee, shower)

The Sun Studios snack bar and gift shop
(Where's my camera?)

Grand (where-the-f***-are-we) tour of lovely run-aground Memphis neighborhoods (think Anacostia meets Nuevo Laredo)

Driving by Graceland, feeling sad.

Starving, discovering a delicious Mexican restaurant (that may as well have been in Laredo; the waitress spoke no English)

The Statue of Bigotry

Here it is, drving by the front lawn of megachurch: a giant green Lady Liberty holding aloft a big 'ol crucifix. Emma Lazarus is turning in her grave. Which would be a neat trick if she was cremated.

NASHVILLE

Bill scored us a room at the Shereton.

The beautiful blonde Russian receptionist (her first day on the job, poor thing) informed us that our room wasn't "ready". Bill gave her a good-natured snarl, and she hooked us up with a penthouse Club Suite (no elevator button: member keys only). Upgrade #2.

Noice.


The room was two blocks from the Ryman.

We wrangled our heavily-guarded tix, then went into the first good beer joint we could find. Had me a hemp ale or two, bill the IPAs.

Booked it back to the room, got prepped for the concert.

AMAZING SHOW #2

The Ryman Theater

Excruciatingly excellent show. For music and history geeks like us, one of the more important acts in America. Arguably the world.

The web site www.tomwaits.radicalwacko.com said it better than I could ever:

"I just wanted to add my two cents here and say that the Ryman show was unbelievable. I had really enjoyed Memphis, but this show just blew it away. The band just seemed infused with twice as much energy and everything just seemed to be lined up for a great show. Not to mention, the setting just couldn’t be better. To me, the really stand out performances were Tom Traubert’s blues and a highly comedic performance of What’s He Building in There, but really everything was great."

Set List:

1. Make It Rain
2. Hoist that Rag
3. Shore Leave
4. God’s Away on Business
5. All the World is Green
6. Blue Valentine
7. Down in the Hole
8. Cemetery Polka
9. Tom Traubert’s Blues
10. House Where Nobody Lives
11. Cause of It All/Til’ the Money Runs Out Medley
12. Murder in the Red Barn
13. Shake It
14. What’s He Building in There
15. Trampled Rose
16. Get Behind the Mule
17. Don’t Go Into that Barn
18. It Rains on Me
19. Sins of the Father
20. Goin’ Out West

Encore:

1. Day After Tomorrow
2. Heart Attack And Vine/Spoonful Medley

Ate a late dinner in the closest brewpub (Big River). Good pizza, decent beer. Stumbled around buying presents in tacky-rific souvenir shops for the ladies.


300 feet above Nashville at night. Giddy from the show and caught up in the zoomzoom of the evening, Bill went snap-happy with his camera.

I became sleepy. I am old. This was me at 4:30 when the first alarm went off. Bill's plane left at 6. Mine at 9. In the morning.

C'est ne pas un Train Wreck

Sheryl Grant (Paul Thompson’s spouse) featured on the Yahoo email sign-in page. The Supersoaker girl even looks like a teenage version of her (much younger) daughter. These photos have been popping up for a year now, and each time I see them I mean to fwd them to Paul. Finally followed thru (to an extent).

I have Regina Spektor’s “On the Radio” (just the “Uh-Oh!” refrain) running over and over in my mind, making me dizzy and slightly frothing. It keeps slipping into my thoughts, making everything I think rhyme with “radio.”

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood

James left a cryptic message on my phone about “you’ve got to come over today. And see this train wreck. OH my God.” So I had made an appointment with this guy to tour his house at 12:30, and it was 11, so I drove over to Discovery school.

James wasn’t there but Paula was. We talked for a long time, mostly about how she’s nearly given up on directing, that she needs a crew of her own choosing and some time off to re-do the playground and classrooms. I was all hoo-ah for her, but I know Kyle. It’s ten years later, and he’s done with that school. He’ll shut it down and turn it into a day spa as soon as he finishes and sells the Congress houses.

The house I looked at was right next to Samsung (15 cranes towering over the Dubai-esque building site next door). It was beautiful, 2500 sq ft, a year old, with all 4 bedrooms upstairs. Nice cul-de-sac with, according to Scott, friendly neighbors and a few young kids.

I’m dropping by James’ now to see if, indeed, a train runs by the trailer, allowing for one to be wrecked, or if this is some other kind of capacious metaphor.

First Post re: Amanda Congdon & Rocketboom

Hi Y'all. I started this page because I had to have a Blogger account to submit comments on Amanda Congdon's site. Responding to her ignominious Rocketboom ouster. Here's what I posted:

Wow. I'm stunned.

Yeah, so, let's go to the next awesome Amanda thang. I'm deleting Rocketboom from my bookmarks and replacing it with Unboomed. If Ani Difranco can go from cassette tapes to sell-out concerts all DIY, certainly someone with your talents and instinct can do the similar.

We grew to love you just the way you are. I frankly will never have to care who this "Andrew" is. Was.

Remember what Winer told you (us) about how money follows value. You're the value. Do something else and whoops, here comes the money.

Love ya,

G