7 Words and the Truth

Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Bill Hicks, Patton Oswalt, David Cross, George Carlin. We don't have sadhus in our Eurocentric culture, so we force them to become "comics."
Etymology
The Sanskrit terms sādhu ("good man") and sādhvī ("good woman") refer to renouncers who have chosen to live a life apart from or on the edges of society in order to focus on their own spiritual practice.

The words come from the Sanskrit root sādh, which means "reach one's goal", "make straight", or "gain power over". The same root is used in the word sādhana, which means "spiritual practice".
- Wikipedia

Planning for Retirement

This is what I want to end up with - a nice piece of land, with some water, and a crop like this (if it'll make it through Texas summers):

I Brewed (You're Doing It Wrong)

Last batch was a supra-malt gem of a Munich Caramel Vienne beer so delicious I drank pretty much the whole thing by myself in 3 weeks. (Yeah, well, plus I had New Job stress. Don't do the math.)

Attempting to reproduce it, I bought most of the same ingredients, only using Safale S-33 instead of their dry version of American 1056 (jargonoff alert: this is yeast talk). Plus 2 oz. of black market fresh Cascade hops.

Beer glass alarmingly low. Last of the last batch from a bottle I stashed in the back of the cupboard. Some people don't drink while brewing, as a rule. Good on ya, and go 'head knock your bad ass self out with that, I say.


So far so good. Shortly after this photo was taken, it starts to go all Mars Climate Orbiter on me.

Litany of errors:
- Using the late-addition method, I added the 1 lb. of extract with burners on full blast. Expected pot-blackening hilarity ensued.
- Boil complete, I cranked up the wort chiller, and while cleaning up a little, discovered the rest of the malt extract.
- By now she's cooled to about 150 degrees. So I switch off the hose, and light the burners again, in an attempt to boil the syrup for 15 minutes.
- After 10 minutes, things seem quiet. Too quiet. Sure enough: out of fuel.

See that white container, on top of the empty propane tank? 5 pounds of spaced malted barley syrup.

Anyhoosle, managed to wrap it up 2 hours later than usual, which means 2 extra hours of sorrows-drowning opportunities. Painful day at the office seemingly immediately followed.

But hey - that yeast finished in 3 days. I know. Kegged it last week, and am now clarifying by draining the sediment off the first few glasses. Pretty ding dang yummy so far. Watch here for updates.

Awesome Canadian Friday - Joni and Sarah

Awesome Canadian Fridays - Mary Margaret O'Hara

Few people have the genuine, sincere ability to exactly vocalize the thrash and motions of your psyche, in that unique desperate chaotic granular abandon behind your eyes.

In 1989 I was working at the D.C. Tower Records. The art department came out with that week's issue of new release posters (cut from colored foam board, the words and images all stacked up on each other). Mary Margaret O'Hara's "Miss America" looked intriguing to me, so I cued up my employee selection. An hour later a winnowy, sometimes stuttered/sometimes bowed-saw vox rolled out, twisting through the genre rooms on each floor. I immediately bought that strange little tape, and copied lyrics from it to the backs of postcards. A few months later, I was in Austin. With those keening hiccups along for the ride in my head.
I remember getting the same feeling from Mary Margaret's voice that I got discovering Kate Bush.


PS she's Catherine O'Hara's sister. Did not know that till today.

Carrot Mob!

This is pretty whiz bang, folks. My new favorite thing.

Carrotmob Makes It Rain from carrotmob on Vimeo

Several Decades After 26 Exquisite Horrible Pages

Lisa's post today reminded me of Edward Gorey, which is extraordinary, because I'm sure I remember reading this book at the Jordan's house in Dhaka. Being over 40 means that things are starting to creep into my life that I haven't seen/done/read in, oh, 30 years or so. The Gashlycrumb Tinies is one such creepy. One of my favorite children's stories that must never actually be read to children.

I thought you could die of that, but was never sure.

Welcome to "Awesome Canadians Fridays"

In the years following high school, I saw Rush manymany times, including once where I made it to the Cap Center by walking backwards down the highway with a cardboard sign reading, "RUSH Concert." 2 college kids in a Mercedes picked me up.

1st in the new Canadian series. You're welcome.

Circa 1984, like you can't tell. These 3 honest-to-God hung the moon for me.

Apparently on this tour (they came through Austin last week), South Park has a cameo. Hilarity. Getty's outline can be seen wandering in front of the screen. Then the poor guy's camera mic implodes.

John Mayer is Way Smarter and Funnier Than His Music

Three things first:
1) JJ Johnson 's been playing drums with Eli's band since the mid-90s. I can't remember half the nights, staring with red-eyed disbelief at his stamina and innovation.
2) Mayer wrote a column for Esquire (Music Lessons) that was always fun to read. Why he stopped, I dunno.
3) I don't think all of John Mayer's songs suck. "Belief" is a bit of masterful.



Belief, from last year's "Crossroads"


An even more sublime acoustic version (not a vid):

Eat, Drink, and Be Murree

Beer Advocate pointed me to a mildly entertaining video on Murree beer, which triggered a limeflower-beer madeleine cascade of memories, throwing me back to high school, and Pakistan.

Indian subcontinent kids like us were limited to four K-12 schools for our parents to choose from (besides correspondence courses, which I actually took for half of 10^th grade). The main one was AES, New Delhi (moi, class of ’84); Kodai Kanal, near Madras, to the south; Woodstock, in northern India; and Murree, in northwest Pakistan. Senior year, I was elected student council president, and was expected to attend an annual international school conference with other government geeks.

I actually wasn’t a government geek; I gave a speech that was merely better performed than my opponent’s (who was far better qualified – and whom I dated years later on-and-off in the States – digress much?). Anyhouse, that year it was in Murree, Pakistan’s version of Kodai.

Not to get all Wikipedia on you, BUT, when Her Majesty’s Army wrested control of Punjab from the Sikhs (while failing to occupy Afghanistan), they were garrisoned in Rawalpindi. Murree, at 2300 m, was an oasis from the heat and crowds 50 km to the south. British soldiers were partially paid in beer rations (since the water could kill you). The Murree Brewery Co. Ltd. has been malting, brewing and distilling since 1860. From what I can glean from their awesomely Pakistani web site, they’re mostly bland-looking light lagers, with "a distinctive test and flavor... Murree's Classic Larger (is) Smooth on the plate… …corresponds in flour and quality to the famous beer brewed in Pilsen, Czech Republic.”

But one style sang out to me:
Murree's Millennium
Our flagship beer 8% alc. v/v. Brewed from highest grade Australian malt and Hallertau a German Hop products. The millennium is celebration brew for special occasion.

Eight percent volume by volume? That’s pretty high octane, for an Islamic beverage. Then again, they keep going, distilling their beers into vodkas, whiskeys, rums, and gins. With strict Sharia prohibition on consumption, and a ban on all imports of alcohol, what would be Murree Brewery’s chief competitor? If the word "prohibition" gave you a hint, you guessed it: bootlegged and black market tharra.

Photos: Spiegel Online

From this NY Times article:
“Alcohol was officially illegal but widely available in the years after independence, with doctors allowed to issue certificates asserting that their patients needed it for medical purposes. The 1979 prohibition is more strictly enforced, but it, too, is evaded. Many non-Muslims make a tidy profit by selling alcohol to their Muslim friends. It is sometimes said that the only people in Pakistan who do not know how to find liquor are foreign tourists. Murree has 350 full-time employees and another 125 or so who work part time. Some hide the truth about where they work. The American-trained quality-control manager, for example, tells friends that she works for a soft drink company.”

Which reminds me: what’s the difference between a Baptist, a Lutheran, and a Catholic? Catholics don’t recognize Saint Luther; Lutherans don’t recognize the Pope; Baptists don’t recognize each other in the liquor store.

Chances are, I’ll probably never return to Murree, which was as consistently beautiful as any Asian hill station. I won't get to drink the probably-not-delicious plate of floury larger with its distinctive test. Mais que recherche agreeable du temps perdu.

Murree, Pakistan

Laura's Movie - Its First Award So Far

Las Perdidas totally won a Remi Award at the WorldFest-Houston Independent International Film Festival. This is the event's web site (it sucks).

This is the link to the movie's site (sorry, Laura, I'm sure it was not your doing, but it also sucks [unlike your site, which is design-tastic], and is even broken in some places. I could do a better job with Notepad and a bellyful of mescal. Call me.)

Anyhowl, when she was in Austin last, I got a pre-screening from her laptop, and it's gangbusters - I think it's funny, inventive, taughtly-written, well-acted, with that early Linklater/Rodriguez indie feel. And if you have a little Spanish, it will be even funnier.

So, Lala yet again irrefutably rocks.

Lifting the Tax on the Sale of Indulgences

Oges is fond of saying that Bill Clinton was one of the greatest Republican presidents in US history. In his words,

"Clinton was the first president since WWII to leave the government with a balanced budget - usually the dream of 'fiscally conservative' Republicans (ironically, Reagan burst the bank and GWB is setting records for deficit spending). Also, similar to how LBJ was opposed to civil rights when he was a local politician in Texas but when it became the zeitgeist LBJ switched sides, when Clinton realized the Republican-dominated Congress was not interested in his more liberal measures - such as universal health care - he gave them everything the Congress wanted, mostly related to NAFTA and other "free trade" issues, which are basically gifts to large corporations and tend to hurt the average working folks Democrats traditionally represent."

The point I'm meandering toward is about today's article in the NY Times:

"Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton lined up with Senator John McCain, the presumptive Republican nominee for president, in endorsing a plan to suspend the federal excise tax on gasoline, 18.4 cents a gallon, for the summer travel season."

Not to poop on their pander party, but aren't we at capacity already? Wouldn't lower prices make people want to drive more? In turn, wouldn't driving more demand more gas, and hike the price?

Anyone who favors a political leader who trades votes for environmental degradation, fuel supply depletion, increased CO2 emissions, and fiscal irresponsibility (i.e. dipping into the Federal Highway Fund to pay for it) gets the government they deserve.

Now I'm not convinced yet that Obama has enough expertise or authority to quickly solve our energy problems, but at least he's not falling for this patronizing hoodwink. In the same article:

"At a meeting with voters in North Carolina on Monday, Mr. Obama said lifting the gas tax for three months would save the average consumer no more than $30, a figure confirmed by Congressional analysts. Mr. Obama has previously dismissed Mr. McCain’s proposal as a 'scheme.'

'Half a tank of gas,' Mr. Obama told his audience. 'That’s his big solution.'"

Hilary, please, just give up the ghost. You're starting to creep me out. As of today, I'd honest to God almost rather have Laura Bush as president. I said "almost," but please, somebody, make it stop; she burns, she burns.

April in Austin, Among Additional Ataxia

I have a new job.

Got stolen away from the energy savings company by a very small, very specialized, software shop. Here is the view from the previous offices:


Here is the new view (from the conference room):

Arial view directly above our building:


It's April in Austin, which means there are an incomprehensible number of festivals, events, open-air concerts, and/or kid's activites to attend...among them:
Old Settler's Music Festival
Texas Hill Country Wine & Food Fest
Urban Music Festival
Austin Fine Arts Fest
Reggae Fest (AKA Bob Marley Festival)
Annual Dragon Boat Festival and Race
Family Music Festival
Cinco de Mayo (gets started early 'round here, especially in San Antonio )
Eeyore's Birthday

Not convinced? Check this list out. It's exhausting, every year, just thinking about April in Austin.

Ultimately, we'll go to Reggae Fest and Eeyore's, as usual, and struggle with the rest.

The farmer's markets are overflowing, and the wildflowers are exploding. Life is tearing by on ball bearings. Don't ask how I managed to find time to post this: if I knew, I'd do it again, soon.

Eternal Sunshine of a Terrifying Mind

Comedienne extraordinaire Mandy Stadtmiller posted this thread, instigated by a copy edit of Tuesday's post. Check it.
When Chip ends with "Yours for total enlightenment (beer included)," he's referring to my email signature:
Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy.
If you ever reach total enlightenment
while you're drinking a beer,
I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.'

Reminding us, as Pope Alexander says on the side of the box, “What mighty emails rise from trivial things.”

Nietzsche, The Gay Science, 1887, pp. 42