Ignis Aurum Probat, Miseria Fortes Viros

B-Dot invited people over to his house last night to build penny alcohol stoves. It was all fun and drinking games until someone got hurt. Here's some actual footage of the event:

OK, now imagine Cleb's arm in that wedge of flame. We had an actual "stop, drop and roll" incident on our hands. Melted his shirt into his flesh. 1st and 2nd degree burns. Brazil wax effect from elbow to shoulder. Caleb, if you're still able to type, drop us a line. We're worried.

Senseless Waste of Company Time

This cracked me up. At Harcourt we used Lotus Notes, and it just about killed me (70 reasons LotusNotes sucks.com).

Perfect blend of Python nerd and tech geek jargonoff. Glayven!


The Export Shop Sketch (a parody)
(by Ben Langhinrichs, with thanks and apologies to Monty Python)


(a customer walks in the door.)

Customer: Good Morning.
Owner: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the IBM Lotus Notes Export Facility!
Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man.
Owner: What can I do for you, Sir?
C: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the Beach Club lobby just now, skimming through the "Lotus Notes and Domino 6 Programming Bible" by Brian Benz and Rocky Oliver, and I suddenly came over all timorous.
O: Timorous, sir?
C: Weak-kneed, spineless, panicky, mostly about whether I could get my multitudinous highly formatted documents out of Lotus Notes without data loss.
O: Eh?
C: 'Ee, Ah got the willies cuz I wanna get lots of stuff outa Notes widout it lookin loike shite!
O: Ah, indeed, sir!
C: So, then, bring on the fine export formats please, my good man.
O: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?
C: Well, eh, how about a nice flexible Open Document Format.
O: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of ODF, sir.
C: Oh, never mind, how are you on StarWriter 5.0?
O: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it
fresh on Monday.
C: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, serve up a portion of XHTML, if
you please.
O: Ah! It's been on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this
morning.
C: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, ordinary HTML 4.0?
O: Sorry, sir.
C: Works 6.0 or 7.0?
O: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.
C: Ah. Lotus WordPro?
O: Sorry.
C: Outlook Express .EML?
O: No.
C: Any Internet Explorer Web Archive .MHT, per chance?
O: No.
C: Word 97?
O: No.
C: Word 95?
O: No.
C: Microsoft RTF, perhaps?
O: Ah! We have Microsoft RTF, yessir.
C: (suprised) You do! Excellent.
O: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit rummy...
C: Oh, I like it rummy.
O: Well,.. It's very rummy, actually, sir.
C: No matter. Fetch hither le plus bas dénominateur commun ! Mmmwah!
O: I...think it's a bit rummier than you'll like it, sir.
C: I don't care how f***ing rummy it is. Hand it over with all speed.
O: Oooooooooohhh........!
C: What now?
O: It doesn't actually handle images, sir. They all turn grey. And bullets disappear.
C: Do they?
(pause)
C: You...do *have* some export filters that maintain fidelity, don't you?
O: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a export filters facility, sir. We've got--
C: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.

Keep going...

Rob Paravonian will see Pachebel in Hell

I'm definitely learning that last medley.

Mingus? Your Dang Right it's Mingus.

I like the way the drummer wipes out the finish. Literally.

Sometimes, the "F" word is the only word available to your petrified mind.

Courtesy of Bill C.

Christmas at the Office

OK, obviously Michael invited Jan to go to Sandals with him. And she said "yes." Because she already knows what a strange, lonely, creepy loser he is, and gets past it somehow, every time.

Francesca at the Jinglebell 5K Run!

New Favorite Regina Spektor Song

"Pavlov's Daughter." Shhh, just listen to it.

Do this RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW:

1) Her Site
2) Click "Music" at the top.
3) Click the 11:11 cassette tape.
3) When the Flash music player pops up, click >> until "pavlov's daughter" shows up (7 times).
4) Spend 2 of 7 minutes in...well, you know.

You can also download the whole thing for .89 cents. Hey, I wouldn't do this if it wasn't worth it. I was flummoxed. In the good way.

Awesome Unscripted "How I Met Your Mother" Duet

This reminds me of spontaneously busting out the Jesus Christ Superstar. Best when standing in line with friends who've also been listening to it since age 10. The movie soundtrack, not the Broadway.

You Must Choose Sides. Sorry.

Team Karens read this.
____________Team Pammers go here.
I'm not telling you, for now, which team I'm on. Let's just say you'd be surprised.

Merry Merry Christmas to All!

"I didn't eat the baby - t'was the dingo ate the baby!"

Favorite new song I accidentally stumbled on

Comfortably Numb

Dar Williams and Ani Difranco: Mocha ice cream and Magic Shell poured into my ears.

Google This Word (#1)

Kitten Huffing

Now Is The Time on Sprockets When Our Hands Are Bananas.

Chris Oglesby: Panel at Texas Book Fest 2006

Chris led a panel discussion on his book "Fire in the Water, Earth in the Air." Famous Lubbockites Colin Gilmore, Joe Ely, Chris, Tom X. Hancock, and Jo Carol Pierce.

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Later, they all hung out in the Book Signing tent, down from Muareen Dowd, Kinky Friedman, and Gore Vidal.

_



I was able to take this short video clip on my little digital camera.